


an exercise in trust

by artemis_west



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, NSFW, One Shot, Smut, also can i even write smut?, once again i can't come up with good titles, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 15:57:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12257532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemis_west/pseuds/artemis_west
Summary: The first time Andrew lets Neil fuck him.





	an exercise in trust

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this is slightly ooc??? It's hard for me to write Andrew correctly and I also wasn't super focused when I was writing this. I don't have betas for my fics so idk it might be shit, but I wanted to write this and I've been working on it for like a week so I'm done with it now and wanted to post it so it's out of my hands lol. ANyWAYs hope y'all like it

It was unexpected.

Neil didn’t see it coming. He would’ve if he hadn’t been so focused on the game (always his fatal flaw). It was an important one, and he and Andrew had barely had time alone together in between the toiling practices leading up to it. Neil didn’t notice that Andrew was a little more detached than usual. Quieter. He was thinking about something, silently fighting with himself, and Neil was too distracted to notice anything wrong. Of course he was always there for Andrew, but he never pushed, never pulled. He was there when Andrew asked, when Andrew needed him, but Andrew hadn’t asked. So Neil had focused on the game.

Afterwards, he kicked himself for missing it. 

It happened after the game. The Foxes had won, and they were in celebration mode. Nicky proposed a trip to Columbia. Sweetie’s and Eden’s were in order, and the upperclassmen were happy to tag along. Neil would’ve easily said yes, but when Nicky asked if he and Andrew were joining them, Andrew said no. That was when Neil first saw it. The look on his face. 

Nicky had opened his mouth to ask why, but Allison had dragged him away from the dorms before he got himself in trouble. The door was shut, and they were gone. Neil and Andrew were alone in the room. 

Andrew stood by the kitchen, staring at Neil. Neil was frozen by the TV. That look in Andrew’s eyes held him in place. It was intense and heavy and full of heat, but Neil could see Andrew struggling with himself. He could see a fight in Andrew’s eyes. Neil didn’t know what was going on, but he wouldn’t move until Andrew did. 

Eventually, Andrew did move, but it wasn’t towards Neil. He walked to the bedroom. Neil followed, his heartbeat fast and erratic in his chest, his skin warm and tingly. He took a slow, quiet deep breath in as he followed Andrew into the room. He shut the door behind him. 

Andrew crowded Neil against the door. 

“Yes or no,” he said, holding Neil’s gaze. 

“Yes,” Neil breathed. 

They had fucked a few times before this, but it had been a while since the last. And always before, it was Andrew fucking Neil. Neil was more than fine with that. He never asked for more than he was given. Never expected anything more. He was content to be filled by Andrew, to let Andrew do what he wanted at his own pace. They still had rules, lines they had yet to cross. And that was okay. Neil was good. He never tried to test Andrew’s limits. Every new inch Andrew gave him in their exploration of each other, Neil savored, but he never asked for more than what Andrew was willing to give. He respected him. Trusted him. Wanted any part of Andrew he was comfortable giving.

This time, he thought it would be more of the same. Their progression had been a steady upward climb - first, Andrew let Neil get him off, a year after they’d kissed for the first time (handjobs only at first, but they worked their way up to blowjobs) and then Andrew had fucked Neil. They’d found their rhythm by now, and they’d been in a good place for the last few months. 

Neil should’ve known it was going to be different this time by the look on Andrew’s face. At first, it started out just the same. Andrew kissed him, and Neil put his arms around Andrew’s waist because that was allowed now. He pulled Andrew closer and met Andrew’s tongue with his own, reveling in the taste and feel of him. 

When they made it to the bed, Neil laid on his back as Andrew hovered over him. This was normal, nothing new, but it was already enough to get Neil hard. The anticipation was the worst part. Neil kept his hands on Andrew’s waist, gasping when Andrew moved his lips to Neil’s ear and whispered, “We’re going to do something different.” He bit gently at Neil’s earlobe and said, “Yes or no?”

“Yes,” Neil said automatically, and it came out as a breathy whine when Andrew palmed Neil’s dick over his jeans. 

Andrew paused there for a minute, sucking a mark into Neil’s neck while he rubbed Neil. Neil arched his back but otherwise tried to stay still. He didn’t know what Andrew wanted, but he wasn’t going to risk putting a stop to this. He couldn’t. 

Andrew pulled Neil’s shirt over his head and tossed it aside. He ran his tongue down Neil’s neck, across his chest, over his stomach. Neil bit his lip to keep from moaning, burying his hands in Andrew’s hair. 

Andrew unbuttoned Neil’s jeans and yanked them down none too gently, taking Neil’s briefs along with them. He took Neil in hand and swallowed him down. Neil closed his eyes and gasped softly when Andrew swirled his tongue around the head of Neil’s dick. The wet heat of Andrew’s mouth and the feeling of his tongue on Neil was perfect. 

Andrew didn’t blow him long enough to make Neil come; just enough to get him wet and hard. Neil whined at the loss of Andrew’s mouth on him when Andrew pulled away with a sucking sound. Neil watched Andrew as he thumbed open the button on his jeans and shoved them down. He kept his shirt and armbands on. There was a hard, determined look on Andrew’s face, and Neil wondered at it. He still didn’t know what they were doing differently this time - he thought Andrew was just going to fuck him again, but he had no problems with that. The thought alone of being filled by Andrew, of feeling Andrew inside him, made Neil shiver. 

Andrew reached over to the dresser and got out the lube. Neil's body stilled with anticipation.

“Andrew,” Neil said quietly, wondering what was going on. “What are we doing?”

“Shut up,” Andrew said. He stopped, kneeling between Neil’s legs on the bed, and took a breath. Their eyes met and held. “Stay still.”

Neil’s eyes widened. He nodded. “I won’t move.”

Neil kept his hands fisted in the sheets and kept his body completely still as Andrew straddled him. Andrew closed his eyes and didn’t look at Neil. Neil watched, transfixed, as Andrew coated his fingers in lube. But they didn't move underneath Neil, as he expected. Instead, Andrew's hand went around to his own back. His mouth was set in a hard line, and his jaw was clenched. Neil wanted to say something, but he knew better than to speak and run the risk of upsetting Andrew even more. 

Andrew didn't open his eyes as he prepped himself. By now, Neil knew what was going to happen, but he couldn't quite believe it. He could only watch, hypnotized, as Andrew fucked himself on his fingers, biting down hard on his lip to keep from making any noise. He was flushed and so, so beautiful. Neil committed the picture to memory.

"Andrew . . ." he whispered, and Andrew's jaw clenched, but he didn't stop moving. 

"Shut up. Don't speak," he rasped out. Neil shut his mouth and continued to watch, mouth going dry as Andrew kept fingering himself.

Neil couldn’t stay silent, though, when Andrew took his fingers away. Neil let out a quiet gasp, half a moan, when Andrew took Neil’s cock in his hand and slowly lowered himself onto it. 

Neil would never have asked for this unless Andrew had given him a clear sign that he wanted it. He’d had no idea Andrew was ready to do this. This was the first time Neil had ever been inside Andrew, instead of the other way around. Neil thought it wouldn’t happen for a much longer time, and he was okay with that. 

But now that it was happening, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d been missing out. The pressure on his cock was incredible, tight and warm and Andrew. 

Andrew stayed still for a minute, just sitting there, and Neil didn’t move. He let Andrew go at his own pace, as he always did. Neil knew it was a matter of control - he knew Andrew needed to be on top so he could see everything that was going on, so he could know what was happening, so he wouldn’t be vulnerable. Neil had figured, somewhere in the back of his mind, that it would be like this the first time Andrew let Neil fuck him. And he couldn’t say he was disappointed. He’d had dreams sometimes of when it would happen, of how it would happen - Andrew riding him, losing himself in pleasure, letting Neil see him come undone. Of course Neil never pushed, and he never would. But he couldn’t help his dreams.

“Yes or no,” Andrew said roughly, finally opening his eyes. Neil nodded. 

“Yes,” he said. “You can trust me.” But Andrew knew that already. 

Andrew took Neil’s hands and placed them on his hips, indicating that Neil should keep them there. Andrew leaned forward and put his own hands on Neil’s chest, and then he started to move. 

The movement of his hips was slow and steady - back and forth, and then up and down, and his dick brushed against Neil’s stomach with every thrust. Neil could feel the pre-cum slicking his skin, and he bit his lip. He wanted to touch Andrew but knew he couldn’t. He kept his hands on Andrew’s hips. Andrew leaned forward and kissed Neil. His thumbs brushed over Neil’s nipples, maybe by accident because of where his hands were placed, maybe on purpose - either way, Neil moaned into Andrew’s mouth. Andrew’s tongue swept over his, warm and soft. Neil moved his lips to kiss Andrew’s neck the way he liked, and then Neil felt one of Andrew’s hands leave his chest. He felt it when Andrew took himself in hand and started stroking; they were pressed close enough that Andrew’s knuckles brushed Neil’s stomach on every upstroke. Neil dug his fingers a little harder into Andrew’s sides and bit gently at his neck. He kissed the bite softly and left a trail of open-mouthed kisses down Andrew’s neck.

Andrew’s breathing was heavy, eyes closed as Neil’s lips moved over his jaw. He grunted as he moved up and down on Neil’s dick, stroking himself faster. His other hand was still on Neil’s chest, fingers curled over Neil’s heart. Neil didn’t expect him to move it. 

But then Andrew took his free hand and used it to remove one of Neil’s hands from his waist. He guided it to his cock and placed it over his own, so they were stroking Andrew together. Neil’s breath caught. Now that this was allowed, he pressed his thumb experimentally to Andrew’s slit and rubbed it slowly. A low moan escaped Andrew’s mouth. His eyes were still closed and his eyebrows were drawn together; he looked half-angry, half-euphoric. It was an odd expression, but Neil thought it was beautiful. 

But still, despite the way his toes started to curl, despite the way his skin tingled all over, despite the way he savored the feeling of being with Andrew like this, of being inside him, Neil worried Andrew was pushing himself to do this when he didn’t want it.

As if reading Neil’s thoughts, Andrew opened his eyes and glared at Neil. He leaned down and licked into Neil’s mouth, biting his bottom lip. 

“Don’t say anything,” he warned against Neil’s lips, his voice rough and raspy. “This is a yes.”

To prove it, he started to move faster, silencing any and all protests Neil might’ve made. Neil lost his ability to speak when the orgasm started to hit him. He could only gasp out Andrew’s name before he was coming inside him. A minute later, Andrew followed, with he and Neil still stroking him together. He came on Neil’s chest with a voiceless gasp, lips parted, eyes closed, cheeks red. 

Andrew moved himself off of Neil and collapsed beside him on the bed. He covered himself with the blanket immediately and stared at the ceiling. Neil wanted to say something - he didn’t know if Andrew wanted him to leave or stay - but he couldn’t catch his breath quite just yet. 

Before he could make a decision, he felt Andrew’s hand circle his wrist, holding him to the bed. 

“Stay,” he ground out. His hand was shaking. Neil didn’t move. 

Andrew slid his hand down Neil’s wrist until their fingers were intertwined. He dug in hard and squeezed. Neil squeezed back as hard as he could.

They stayed like that for a long time, until Andrew’s breathing evened out, and his grip on Neil’s hand softened. His eyes were closed, but Neil knew he was still awake. 

Neil knew Andrew would probably feel fragile after this for a while, and that was okay. It was a big step, one he hadn’t been expecting, but one he treasured all the same. If Andrew needed space after this, Neil would give it to him. If Andrew wanted him around, Neil would be there. It was how they worked. It was about trust, and it never wavered between them.

“Go shower,” Andrew said after a while. Neil looked at him before he got off the bed and headed to the bathroom. In the shower, he cleaned himself off and relived the last twenty minutes in his head. He didn’t know when or if it would happen again, but he was going to remember it. Always. Andrew trusted him enough to give him that, and it meant more to Neil than he could ever say. 

When he went back into the bedroom, towel around his waist, Andrew was sitting on the windowsill smoking a cigarette. He had put on sweatpants, and he didn’t look at Neil when he came in. Neil got dressed and stripped the sheets off the bed, shoving them in the hamper. He replaced them with new ones and finally turned back to Andrew. He had finished his cigarette, but he hadn’t moved. 

“Andrew,” Neil said quietly. “Yes or no?”

It meant something different than it usually did, and Andrew took a while to answer. But then, after he flicked his cigarette out the window, he said, “Yes.”

“Are you sure?” Neil had to ask. He needed to know.

“I’m sure. Don’t ask again.” His tone wasn’t angry, but it was a warning, so Neil nodded. Andrew slid off the windowsill and walked over to Neil. He tugged Neil down into a kiss. It was slow and intimate, Andrew’s hand on the back of Neil’s head, Neil’s arms around Andrew’s neck. When Andrew pulled away, he leaned his forehead against Neil’s. 

He kissed Neil again before he turned and left the room without saying anything more.

Neil smiled and followed him out.


End file.
